Me

There is a different version of me
In each and every one of your heads
Friend, enemy, victim, hero, lover
And I’ve stopped pandering to them all.

I’m nearly fifty, for goodness sake
Yet still I feel the need to seek out your
Approval, or at the very least the
Absense of your snide, sneering derision.

And for what? I am nearly fifty for
Goodness sake. I can approve of myself.
Every single thing we do will either
Cause amusement or cause resentment

So live your truth. Be unabashadly
You. Be as authentically you as you
Can be, for “your vibe will attract your tribe.
Hammer home your truth as hard as you can.

Swearing

Because of course.

I may come across as a philistine
See I punctuate with profanity
Although I am fucking erudite and
Extraordinarily bastard wordy

Swearing doesn’t mean that I can’t at all
Communicate with you effectively.
It cannot be bad language if you can
Understand correctly what I’m trying

To get across, it’s all good if you get
Me. It doesn’t mean for one second that
I lack an adequate vocabulary.
Such mores only highlight ones snobbery.

Really you are just being a coward
Hiding behind false sensibility.
What really happened was I made a point
That you weren’t ready for and can’t rejoin.

So you bob and weave and doge each attack
But I’m on to you, it’s courage you lack
If your beliefs are so easily shook
Maybe its them that need another look.

Be Creative.

Hello. It’s been a minute. That’s because I am all over the place mental health wise. I’ve tried everything, most recently self-sabotage. That doesn’t work you know.

Any old hoo one of the major reliefs/helps/outlets for mental health for me is creativity. I have a few outlets. I make no claim to be any good at any of them but, and I cannot stress this enough, that is not the point.

I perform comedy improv. I’m in two teams at the moment. Improvision and Purgatory.

Improvision takes the “Gogglebox” idea and uses it as a platform for Improv sketches. The Perfromance opens with two people sat in front of the “television” (Audience), perform a little skit and in the process takes suggestions from the audience about television proramme types and programm names.

Purgatory is a team of old hands (do excuse the word “old”, I mean experienced because obviously we’re all in our twenties) getting together and just giving it a bit of GOFI (Good Old Fashioned Improv). Someone floted the idea of “The Harold” recently. For some The Harold is peak improv, long form. This wiki entry does it more justice than I could

Another love of mine has been and is Poetry. This is one I struggled with confessing to. I’m a Gen X Northern Irish cishet man with all the attendant patriarchal problems and issues (It might not be my fault but it is very much my responsibility to sort out, that’s for another blog).

I recently went to a poetry reading for the forst time with my friend Elizabeth McGeown and, cheeky get that I am I got up and read one of mine. It was quite a rush and was received quite well.

Create something, it doesn’t have to be Shakespear, Rembrant, Robin Williams, Penn and Teller or anything like it but put a bit of yourself into something. Be vulnerable. Explore the vulnerability.