Hello.
There has been a lot said about Vittorio Angelone and Daniel Sloss lately hasn’t there? Rightly so. What I have to say has already been said by many I am sure. This is not going to stop me weighing in. I am, after all, a white man.
Vittorio took *that* particular clip and used it to kind of self-promote a show that’s coming up. Of all the clips he could have taken, why that one? Of the whole show *THAT* clip? What was the thinking or the lack of thinking thereof? It was the most problematic section of what I consider a very problematic format. Roasts are rough so it is vital that everyone on the panel have consented to the roast. Even the audience should be warned.
Daniel Sloss. I’ve quoted his “Talk to your boys” at my boys. Seen him twice. Bought his book. He laughed as hard as anyone else on the roast because he was “stoned and drunk”. When it happened right in front of him with cameras rolling he was found wanting by his own standards wasn’t he?
It was said that Rebecca had attended a previous Roast and had consented to *THAT PARTICULAR* roast at *THAT PARTICULAR* time. The thing about consent is that it must be required and asked for at every occasion. Never assume that once something has been consented to that this is a permanent state. Consent can be removed. Consent for one instance of a thing does not imply consent for a separate similar incident
Dear God does this really need to be said out loud?
ALWAYS ASK FOR CONSENT FOR FUCKS SAKE. ALWAYS.
There was as usual a social media pile on. I am concerned about those who threw the biggest stones in this. They invariably are projections. A lot of fellas were very finger pointy and admonishy were’t they? Insincerely using this debacle to draw attention away from themselves. Or get clicks for their banal as fuck, insipid, full of nothing influencer sites.
They’ve both apologised and as our Saviour Cabaret Ross has stated “It’s not our apology to accept”. It’s not anyone else’s place to assess the earnestness or sincerity of either apology either, really (or the 9-page essay Sloss later contributed). Apologies, however, do not take back harm cause, especially harm that could so easily have been avoided if we weren’t so keen on laddy bants with the lads just being lads. It is better than not apologising.
We fellas need to do better. Much better. Far better. We keep expecting praise and kudos in return for barely managing to reach bottom-tier, entry level compassion, empathy and humanity. We even expect to be congratulated for *not* being an abuser. To say that male behavioural expectations have a low bar assumes the existence of a bar at all. I’m not sure there is one.
For the avoidance of doubt I do include myself in this because as stated in the opening paragraph I am a white man. I’ve been an awful person, I’ve said awful things, I’ve hurt people, I’ve thrown my toys out of the pram when I didn’t get my own way (and still do). I try to be better. I shut my mouth, I listen, I try to understand, I accept at least 75% of the time (see me, I’m class). I still get it wrong and I still have a lot of patriarchal “Axioms” in my DNA which I am trying to expel.
We are human and flawed and far from perfect but we need to be better than this.
How many times do we need this lesson?
We need to do far better than this, men
If it wasn’t for women we’d be lost
How many times do we need this lesson?
We keep treating women like they’re less than
Keep making them the subject of our sport.
We need to do better than this, men.
Choosing the bear is an indication
Written in bold print, underlined, embossed.
How many times do we need this lesson?
It’s too late waiting til there’s a victim
Or until it finally affects us
We need to do better than this, men
There’s no justifying your inaction
And silence will always come with a cost.*
How many times do we need this lesson?
We have got to stop talking and listen.
We have to accept that we are at fault.
We need to do better than this, men.
How many times do we need the lesson?
*But it won’t be men’s to pay. It hasn’t been yet.
